


Grape and Grape

by FailureArtist



Series: Friendship & Stuff Cinematic Universe [11]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Adoptive parental incest, Anal Sex, Cousin Incest, Crying During Sex, Cults, Disabled Characters, Dreams, Dubious Consent, Genital Piercing, Grooming, Humanstuck, Large Cock, M/M, NaNoWriMo 2019, Oral Sex, Religious Visions, Seduction, break ups, unhealthy relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-17
Updated: 2019-12-17
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:22:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21825859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FailureArtist/pseuds/FailureArtist
Summary: April 13, 2016: Kurloz seduces Gamzee.
Relationships: Gamzee Makara/Kurloz Makara, mentioned kurlin, mentioned sunken gamtav, suggested gamkar
Series: Friendship & Stuff Cinematic Universe [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1532495
Comments: 1
Kudos: 23





	Grape and Grape

**Author's Note:**

> Unhealthy relationship between a first cousin and the younger cousin he adopted, starting with grooming as a teenager. Rape not treated as rape by either party. Ableist insult to Tavros. Parental death, both human and lusus.

Kurloz knew the time to strike was now. Gamzee’s heart had been broken by his long-term boyfriend and Kurloz was going to rebuild it in his image. This had been a long game, so long a game he had not even known he had been playing it. It was the Church that made him realize it. 

He remembered distantly meeting Gamzee as a baby, when he was only six, and thinking there was something special about that child that felt like a baby brother. Over the years at family events he would always hang out with the lonely boy. He resented the lonely boy’s father, a bland yet bad-tempered slob whom family rumors said had murdered his wife. If only Aunt Susan had married Kurloz’s dad instead of Uncle Buckley, he and Gamzee could have been brothers. When he was seventeen and Gamzee was eleven, he secretly introduced the preteen to pot and Insane Clown Posse during a poorly-attended Thanksgiving Day Dinner. Pot stopped the kid from having temper tantrums and it was a way to bond. Kurloz supplied Gamzee with pot at great risk, considering both their fathers were cops. He wanted to be close to Gamzee. Yet at the time he thought it was all just a plan to be the “Cool Cousin”. 

That changed when he joined the Church of the Mirthful Messiahs and in a vision he found out the truth. His little cousin was not just of his literal blood but of his spiritual blood. His cousin was an incarnation of him, and he was an incarnation of an alien leader with powers the human pope wished he had. 

So what Kurloz was about to commit was not really incest. It was more like divine masturbation. His true race, the superior one, did not care about the crime of incest or the ethical code of lesser races in general. That was what he told himself as he took deep breaths outside his kid cousin’s bedroom door. 

Meanwhile, Gamzee lay on his bed staring at the ceiling. The YouTube baking tutorial he had put on to distract himself ended who knows how long ago and he didn’t have the will to find another. His collection of Liked videos he turned to in times of need had run low. He cashed his stash of pot but he could not even be bothered to ask Kurloz for a fix. He wondered, would Tavros have continued loving him if Gamzee wasn’t such a burnout? If he had gone to college and learned that academic shit and didn’t work at a tattoo parlor? Would he have been like that if he never smoked weed? He hoped that without it he could think better but instead his mind was made of the same molasses as the cake in that video.

There was a knock on the door and Gamzee knew it was Kurloz. He probably wanted him to come to work some time this week. Three days was a long time to play hooky from work, even with a relative as the boss. He had told Kurloz that Tavros had dumped his ass but maybe he would need some new excuse at this point. 

Maybe it would be easier if he were dead.

Kurloz knocked again and then felt a sudden fear that Gamzee was hanging from the ceiling fan. His heart pounding, he opened the door and found to his relief that this had not come to pass. Gamzee was just sprawled on his bed just wearing boxers and socks. Kurloz found it was a good thing he was so lightly dressed given the coming scenario. The room smelled of sweat and despair. Normally, the adoptive father tried to get Gamzee to keep things tidy and clean but now this was a good sign. He needed good signs.

Gamzee turned his head at Kurloz. His poker-faced older cousin looked nervous to him. 

“What’s up, dog?” Gamzee croaked, his own voice sounding odd to himself. His tempo increased as he added, “I’ll get my ass to the parlor tomorrow, just I think I’m coming down with a twenty-four hour motherfucker.”

Kurloz forwent his electrolarynx for his hands.  _ It is okay. You can rest. _

Gamzee’s head fell back. “Thank fuck.”

Yet instead of leaving, Kurloz sat on the edge of the bed. He stroked Gamzee’s left hand. Gamzee looked up again.

“What?” he asked.

_ You need a massage. _

Gamzee had given Tavros massages many times. Tavros’ arms were often sore from wheeling around that chair of his. He said Gamzee did a top notch job with those big hands. Sometimes Tavros had returned the favor but he did not have that particular magic. And there was that time he tried to give Gamzee head…

“What?” Gamzee asked again. Enough of those motherfucking bullshit thinking, he told himself.

_ A massage. It will feel good,  _ he signed very emphatically. 

“Sure, go ahead.”

_ Roll over. _

Gamzee rolled onto his stomach and put his unwashed head into the tear-stained pillow.

Unseen by Gamzee, Kurloz rubbed his hands. Before him was the canvas he would work on. Gamzee had tattoos on his arms and chest and legs but none yet on his back. Kurloz hoped to one day fill that pale white expanse with holy art depicting the ultimate goal. And maybe also add a purple Capricorn sigil as a bond of their shared incarnation. He also thought about what that back would look like anointed with his seed, though this was not about his personal carnal needs.

Kurloz took a bottle of oil out of his pants pocket. He opened it up, poured some on his hands, and rubbed them together both to warm it and out of nerves. He then straddled Gamzee’s waist.

Gamzee felt the pressure on the bed as Kurloz got over him. He was not expecting this to be the position Kurloz chose. Yet Gamzee didn’t feel like getting in any other position. He could barely lift his head, after all. 

Kurloz placed both his moist hands on Gamzee’s back. Gamzee winced a little. He hadn’t heard the bottle open so he didn’t expect Kurloz was going to give him a motherfucking oil massage. This seemed pretty advanced for a bro job. 

Kurloz rubbed his hands in circles on that white palette. Gamzee stopped tensing up and started sighing. Kurloz wondered what Gamzee would sound like later. He had heard Gamzee sometimes softly moaning while jerking off but Kurloz knew he could get more noise at of him. He was glad he wasn’t Deaf along with mute. He would draw out all the sounds from Gamzee that he couldn’t make himself anymore. Gamzee was him, after all. 

Gamzee melted into the massage. His tension dripped out of his body before completely leaking out. He felt made of jelly. Though he had been barely able to sleep these past few days, he now felt ready to doze off. Whatever genes in Gamzee’s hands made them so good at massaging must have passed sideways to Kurloz. 

Kurloz heard Gamzee’s breath slow and realized he might be falling asleep. That would not be good for his plans. He knew he had to go down to a more intimate part of his cousin’s body. His hands traveled down Gamzee’s long back until he reached the waistband of those purple plaid boxers. He slipped a finger under them and rubbed. Gamzee’s breath quickened yet he otherwise did not react. Kurloz slowly pulled Gamzee’s boxers down until Gamzee’s ass was visible. It was a flat, bony ass, unworthy of worship, but that’s just what the Makara ass was like. The Makaras made up for it in other ways. Kurloz took each cheek in hand and it was then Gamzee reacted.

Gamzee felt his older cousin touch his ass and it was like lightning went through his head. He twisted his body to look up at Kurloz. Kurloz had that same poker face despite having his hands full of ass cheek.

Gamzee yelled, “What the motherfuck you be doing?!”

Kurloz took his hands off of Gamzee’s body to sign.  _ You want to feel better.  _ He did not add a question mark at the end of the sentence and Gamzee did not know if that was a mistake or if it was an order.

“I do…but not like this - oh!”

Kurloz disobeyed Gamzee and started again rubbing Gamzee’s ass. Gamzee didn’t know what to do. Was Kurloz just going to continue this? Maybe this was just a very through massage and Gamzee was the motherfucker making this weird and not Kurloz. The massage down there did feel pleasurable. Very pleasurable, but in a different way than the sleepy jello feeling of before. Gamzee felt his big cock twitch and harden under his belly and he hoped that Kurloz wouldn’t notice. 

Kurloz heard Gamzee’s ragged breathing and saw his squirming and he knew he was turning Gamzee on. It was so easy. Gamzee must have been so desperate for the touch of his long-distance ex-boyfriend. Now it was Kurloz providing the touch that stupid college boy could not provide. Kurloz would provide everything in Gamzee’s life, for now on. That’s what Kurloz had always wanted to do, yet he did not realize it until recently. 

Gamzee was feeling too turned on now. Nobody had ever touched his ass like this. Not even Tavros. Gamzee did not want to come like this. Why was he getting so hot and heavy over a massage? He twisted his body as much as he could without showing his treacherous dick. 

“Thanks for the massage, cuz, I feel better now, not all sad in this motherfucker.”

Kurloz took his hands off of Gamzee and Gamzee missed the pressure yet felt relieved. Then Kurloz signed.

_ This is not over. I will fully pleasure you. _

Kurloz then forcibly rolled Gamzee onto his back and pulled down his boxers. Gamzee’s half-hard shame and pride was plain to see. 

“Cuz?” was all Gamzee could say in his surprise. 

Kurloz grabbed that big, beautiful manhood that was just laid bare to him. He had caught glimpses of it soft before, and he had seen it as a bulge in Gamzee’s jeans when he showed his younger cousin porn of all types, yet now he got to see it in all its glory. It was like his, unaltered and huge. This was the Makaras’ greatest physical trait. Kurloz had once as a child seen his father’s endowment and it was also like this. Kurloz supposed even that detestable Uncle Buck was endowed, but he’d rather not think of that failure.

Kurloz stroked Gamzee with one full hand while the other hand spelled  _ P-R-O-U-D _ .

“Umm…thanks…” Gamzee mumbles, unable to say anything else. 

Gamzee just didn’t know what to do. His cousin, his adoptive father, was stroking Gamzee’s naughty dangle like this was a normal thing to do and it didn’t seem like saying “nah, man, this be weird,” would stop this wack shit. Gamzee’s back was tensing up like that earlier massage never happened. Yet despite that pain there was such pleasure in his dick. It was hardening rapidly in front of both sets of eyes.

Kurloz noted that Gamzee was a shower not a grower like him, though even still there was an inch of growth. The bright red head was out of its sheath and drops of precum glided down the shaft. Kurloz’s attention was mostly on this penis but sometimes he noticed Gamzee’s eyes and they were staring at his own erection as if it was something he had never seen before. 

Kurloz could feel his own erection straining in his snug briefs. He had assumed he would have to think of other things to get the blood going to the right place yet it was taking the right path on its own at the sight of Gamzee becoming undone.

He stopped stroking Gamzee and got off the bed. Gamzee wondered if this whole crazy shit was over. Instead, Kurloz pulled Gamzee’s boxers entirely off and started undressing himself. He took off his “Street Survivor” album cover t-shirt, revealing a full shirt of tattoos that were far more impressive than Gamzee’s. His nipples and his navel were pierced with silver studs bearing amethyst jewels. He unzipped his black jeans and took them off. Under them were purple boxer briefs with skeletons on them, a popular motif with Kurloz. Gamzee had of course seen his older cousin exposing this much skin while at the beach or on laundry day but he knew any second he was going to see more. Kurloz was really going to get naked and then what would happen? Gamzee wondered if he should run out the door. Yet instead he sat there like the fool he was with his dick still hard against his stomach and his heart in his throat. 

Kurloz adjusted himself for a bit before pulling down his briefs. His half-hard cock flopped out. Gamzee had seen Kurloz tent before while watching porn and Gamzee had found it amusing to see his poker-faced cousin react physically but now that tenting was out in the open and now Gamzee knew Kurloz had pierced his dick twice. Gamzee stared as it started hardening more now that it was out of its cotton prison. 

Kurloz looked at Gamzee’s eyes, usually half-lidded, stared wide-eyed at his erection. It was a reaction Kurloz loved to get. Kurloz got back to straddling Gamzee. Gamzee scooted back a bit but Kurloz stopped him from going any further by grabbing his neck like an errant kitten. He took Gamzee’s erection and his own erection and held them together. They were about the same size, perhaps nine inches long. Kurloz took Gamzee’s hands, busy clutching the sheets, and pressed them against the combined erections.

Gamzee could feel Kurloz’s quick pulse against his and the cold metal of Kurloz’s frenum piercings. He did not think he had ever been this intimate with anyone. He’d had some rather one-sided fooling around with Tavros and that one disaster time with Terezi but nothing before felt like this. His privates were pressed against another’s privates and this was all so private. What was Kurloz doing? Why was he doing this?

Kurloz grabbed Gamzee’s chin and forced it up to look at Kurloz and his hands. As invigorating as it was to see Gamzee look at their endowments, Kurloz had something to say. 

_ We are the same, you and I. Same blood, same size.  _

Gamzee shuddered. Kurloz’s electro-thingy-ma-jig sounded like a robot and his diction had always been the stuff of pretentious death metal lyrics but when he did that signing with no facial expression, that was creepy. 

“Yeah, but…um…why?” Gamzee could not even formulate a full-question. 

Kurloz did know what Gamzee was asking.  _ I am doing this because your ex-boyfriend _ “ _ Fairy Bull” _ (and Kurloz rolled his eyes at that custom sign)  _ can not please you like I can.  _

“Yeah but you be my cousin, not my boyfriend.”

Kurloz signed amid Gamzee’s protest.  _ He could never please you. You were pent up. I knew it. You could never be happy with the invalid creature.  _

There was something very harsh in that last set of signs. It belonged in a former, crueler century, not in modern sign language. Gamzee felt his blood boil. 

“Tavros be the best motherfucker there is, no matter how his lower half be capable or handicap-able!”

_ He could not give you his penis. He could not give you love. _

“He did be loving me.”

_ College boy loves college things now. He has grown away from you. _

Kurloz spread his arms out wide for that. Gamzee translated that sentence into Tavros’ sentence. (i THINK, wE’VE GROWN, aPART,)

Kurloz could tell he struck a nerve. Maybe too hard, since he could feel Gamzee softening a little. He stopped signing and started stroking again. 

Gamzee was just so pent up, like Kurloz had cruelly said. He thought he could live without sex if he had Tavros’ love but now he did not even have that. All he had now was Kurloz’s weird creepy love. Even Karkat had failed him. Gamzee’s eyes started to prick, but his cock started getting hard again. 

Then Kurloz grabbed Gamzee’s head and kissed him hard. Gamzee could taste Kurloz’s extensive dental reconstruction plus the angel/vampire combo piercings. The taste reminded him of the dentist’s office. (Though dentist’s offices always reminded him of Kurloz, since he was the first person past age five to take him to one.) It wasn’t a pleasant sensation, but it did make Gamzee think that maybe Kurloz did love him as more than family. It was that type of kiss, right?

Quick as he had pulled Gamzee’s head toward him, he pushed it back. Gamzee breathed so heavily he felt like he was choking. 

Kurloz took this opportunity to grab the bottle of oil. He opened it up and poured out its contents on his already-precum-wet erection. Now Gamzee knew the true purpose of the oil. Kurloz was planning this before he came into the room.

“You gonna put that in me?”

_ You are a bottom.  _

Gamzee felt hurt that Kurloz did not bother to add a question mark to the end of that sentence. Gamzee had never declared any role. He did not think he ever needed to when his soulmate had decided to go with “none of the above”. Yet there were those raging orgasms Gamzee had when he played with his own ass.

Kurloz witnessed Gamzee’s embarrassed, evasive look and knew he guessed right. Those cucumbers and candles did not just “disappear”, apparently. What a cruel fate that Gamzee had tied himself for years to someone who could not fill him up properly or at all. Kurloz was here to remedy that. Though even if Gamzee was not a born bottom, Kurloz would make him one. Kurloz only willingly bottomed for one person and that would not be Gamzee.

Kurloz pushed Gamzee down on the bed and lifted his legs up. With his oily finger he penetrated Gamzee. Gamzee clenched hard at this sudden, bizarre intrusion. He still could not believe this was happening. 

Kurloz pried his finger out. His younger cousin was proving reluctant despite his unwaning erection.

_ I love you. _

“You do?”

Kurloz finger-spelled  _ I love you _ over and over with his left hand. Meanwhile, the index finger of his other hand went down Gamzee’s shaft, down his tight scrotum, and into his hole. Gamzee watched the left hand and relaxed as the right hand entered him. 

Gamzee’s heart was still pounding and he still wanted to get away from this weird scene but Kurloz’s probing finger did feel good. Despite his every thought, Gamzee found himself melting. 

Kurloz took his finger out and soon pressed his cockhead at Gamzee’s entrance. He knew that Gamzee had to be ready. Kurloz certainly was.

Gamzee looked at that huge red thing. He had experimented with various items in his ass but never anything that big. That cock was not going to fit and it was attached to his goddamn first cousin and adoptive father. Yet Gamzee’s body ached and dripped and it knew it would enjoy having Kurloz’s cock inside it. His brain might disagree vehemently but it was not in control of the situation. Only Kurloz’s big old brain was. 

Kurloz pressed in and stretched Gamzee out. Gamzee bit his lip at the pain and turned his head away at the shame. He felt the frenulum piercings move along his rectum and shuddered when they rubbed against his side. Finally, Kurloz reached the end and Gamzee felt so full it was sickening. 

Instead of thrusting immediately, Kurloz grabbed Gamzee’s head and forced him to look at him. 

_ I love you. Do you love me?  _

Gamzee was happy that Kurloz was finally using question marks. He nodded in reply.

_ Say it out loud. _

Gamzee’s vocal cords could barely work when he said, “I love you.”

_ Who do you love? _

“Kurloz Makara.”

_ What family member do you love? _

“My cousin.”

_ No, who?  _

Gamzee could fucking explode now but he knew he had to say it. 

“You…daddy?”

And then Kurloz started fucking Gamzee. At first, he did it achingly slow, letting the virgin get used to him, but he gradually gained speed. 

Though Kurloz’s cock was big he used enough lubrication that it slide. Gamzee could feel it along his prostate. 

Gamzee could get use to the presence of Kurloz’s cock but not Kurloz. Whenever he looked up, he saw that familiar poker face. He loved his cousin but he wanted his cousin to leave but not if it meant losing this miraculous sensation. 

A pressure, created by this bizarre situation, built in Gamzee’s stomach, ensnared his heart, went up his constrained throat, and pricked his eyes until they bled water. He wiped his eyes quickly but the shame of crying was just making the tears come quicker.

Kurloz saw Gamzee crying and he allowed himself a smug smile. His double was coming completely undone under his own hands. With his right hand, Kurloz forced Gamzee’s stained face to look it him before signing.

_ Tears of joy? _

Gamzee nodded, though that was a half-truth.

Kurloz continued thrusting but now he took both his skilled hands and started stroking Gamzee’s still-hard cock.

Gamzee clenched the sheets with both his hands and his feet. Now that Kurloz was too busy handling Gamzee to sign anything, Gamzee closed his eyes and turned his face into the mattress. His hot wet breath moaned into the bed.

He thought that maybe if he imagined someone other than his older cousin giving him this ecstasy it would make it easier to take. His thoughts briefly turned to Karkat but he knew Karkat had nowhere near this level of endowment. He was going to go with someone else, maybe a porn star, when suddenly a mystery contender appeared. His eyes whipped open to see it. 

Over Gamzee, towering past Kurloz’s modest six foot nine to reach thirteen feet, was a jet-black demon with curling blood-orange horns. Kurloz’s purple braids leviated up and stood on ends until the demon had a wicked afro. The demon’s eyes had bluish purple irises with red instead of white. Its giant hands with neon yellow nails made even Gamzee’s endowment look like a pencil. Instead of solid flesh, Gamzee could feel a flexible tentacle whipping his prostate. The figure was like one of the creatures from Kurloz’s back tattoos that he never explained, but come to life in this expanded bedroom. Kurloz was not human anymore, but what the motherfuck was he now? And why was Gamzee still so painfully aroused?

The creature opened its mouth and out came a long grey tongue that was pierced in several places. The creature spoke in a booming voice that was not Kurloz’s and was definitely not human. 

  


Kurloz looked down, much farther down than a few seconds ago, and saw where his human relation was now there was a gray-skinned alien. Though it was hard to say how old an alien was, he looked to be a teenager. On the alien’s face were three diagonal cuts oozing blood. Instead of pert little nipples, the alien had six purple marks on his side. Between Kurloz’s fingers was a wriggling and hyperactive purple tentacle. Kurloz now knew for sure he was on the right path. Gamzee had revealed his true self. 

And then Gamzee reached his climax. Both Kurloz and Gamzee could swear the flying fluid was bluish purple. Afterward, the illusion was broken. Gamzee saw he was being fucked by his cousin and not a monster. Kurloz saw a human below him and felt a tinge of disappointment. 

Kurloz figured that not much time had passed. His new lover would have to work on his stamina. For now, he pulled out. Gamzee was like a bean bag when Kurloz flipped him over. Kurloz looked at that fresh canvass and worked on his own erection.

Gamzee felt boneless and tired. His orgasm had been so intense and now he just wanted to sleep. Yet he could hear Kurloz beating off behind him. 

So after a minute, Kurloz came normal white over Gamzee’s back. Anti-climatic compared to Gamzee’s climax but still satisfying. He went around the bed to check on his younger cousin. His younger cousin had the shut eyes and the steady breathing of the sleeping. Kurloz kissed him on the forehead. Tomorrow would be a new beginning. 

So Gamzee slept deeper than he had in the last three nights. 

Gamzee was in a grey room with posters that looked familiar but featured grey creatures instead of humans. The windows were cross-shaped and divided into twelve and not four. An eerie pink and green light shown through them. He walked up closer to them and saw the windows were cracked. Still, he could vaguely see his reflection and it looked grey with two crooked towers of orange. He looked down at his hands and they were gray. Suddenly, from outside the room, he heard a sound like a dying goose but magnified tenfold. Gamzee was filled with fear and yet also a…longing? He found a door and through it open to see he was on a beach. He looked up at the sky and saw a green planet and a smaller pink one. Then his eyes traveled down and he saw something large and white where the tide came in. A dragon with a furry horned head the size of a small car lay on the shore. A harpoon went through its back. Despite never seeing this creature alive, Gamzee burst into tears at the sight of it dead. He ran across the beach, seeming to take forever to get to the creature due to the sand and his shorter legs. Yet when he made it his attention turned to the sky. Up there were the red streaks. Could those be meteors? Would he have been told they were coming? Then the world went white. 

And Gamzee woke up fully-rested. He did not even feel sore. Yet he desperately needed a shower. He threw on a bathrobe and went across the hallway to the bathroom. He looked at himself in the mirror. Still a human.

When his shower was over, he walked into the living room. Kurloz was sitting on the couch, dressed in purple jeans and a black t-shirt. Gamzee remembered seeing him completely naked and his heart skipped a beat. Yet that did not stop him from speaking. 

“I can get my ass into work today, better motherfucking believe it.”

_ It is seven o’clock at night. I closed the shop.  _

“Oh…I be asleep that motherfucking long?”

_ Did you have a good rest? _

“Yeah…thanks.”

Gamzee turned to go back to his bedroom, but after two steps, changed his mind. He walked back into the living room.

“Ummm…what do we be now? Now that…that…been happening…”

_ We are Family.  _

Gamzee raised his eyebrow. “We be family before.”

_ We are closer than family. We are the same person.  _

Gamzee scratched his head. “Yeah, you said that yesterday and I ain’t knowing anymore what that means then I do now.”

Kurloz made a “come here” gesture. Gamzee approached him. When he was close, Kurloz pointed to the floor.

_ Kneel.  _

It was a weird command but Gamzee did.

Kurloz took his electrolarynx out of his pocket.

**WE ARE NOT HUMAN. WE HAVE HUMAN BODIES BUT OUR SOULS ARE NOT HUMAN.**

“Huh? What the motherfuck do that even mean?”

**YOU WILL FIND OUT IN DUE TIME. BUT YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT HUMAN MORES MEAN NOTHING TO US.**

“Human mores? Like incest be bad? Did we do an incest? Why?”

**AS I SAID, IT DOES NOT MATTER. EVERYTHING IS INCEST.**

“Yeah, I know it’s science that we all fifth cousins but we be that PLUS we be FIRST cousins. My old man be your uncle. Fuck, you be my old man now. Shit, fuck, this be incest! I’m going to fucking Hell!”

Gamzee grabbed his head and rocked back and forth. Kurloz patted Gamzee on the head. 

**HUSH. DO NOT BE A-FEARED, MOTHERFUCKER. I SHALL TAKE YOU TO MY SUNDAY MEETINGS.**

Gamzee took his own hands off his head and looked back up at Kurloz.

“Like…that support group for motherfuckers that get too liquored up? How that be helping? Like help us quit liking incest? Because…it did feel pretty fucking good.”

It warmed Kurloz’s heart and other parts that the incest felt good to Gamzee. However, the recruit was still caught up in the human morality of it all. 

**IT IS NOT A MEASLY ‘SUPPORT GROUP’. IT IS A RELIGION. A NEW RELIGION TO WIPE AWAY THE OLD.**

“I never knew you to be religious, bro.”

**I WAS UNENLIGHTENED BEFORE AND HIDING AFTERWARD.**

“But…I got a religion. Unitarian Universalist.”

**BUT DOES THAT CHURCH HAVE YOU? COULD THEY APPROACH THE CARE AND DEVOTION WE COULD PROVIDE TO YOU?**

Gamzee thought back to his time with the Unitarian Universalists. There certainly were good times but he had never really melded with the upper-middle class congregants.

“Nah, I’m happy with my church.”

**DO YOU FEEL THE SAME SURGE OF EMOTIONS AT A SERVICE AS YOU DO AT A MUSICAL CONCERT? WHAT IF THERE WAS A RELIGION THAT FELT LIKE A GATHERING OF THE JUGGALOS?**

“Fuck, that does tempt a motherfucker,” Gamzee said but he was still thinking  _ incest incest incest wrong wrong wrong,  _ “What be the name?” __

Kurloz leaned forward dramatically. 

**THE CHURCH OF THE MIRTHFUL MESSIAHS.**

“Did I hear that in a dream or was that bitch in real life?”

**THE ANSWER TO ALL YOUR SOMATIC QUESTIONS WILL COME IN TIME IF YOU FOLLOW ME.**

“You ain’t telling me now?”

**IT BE GENEROUS THAT I INFORM YOU NOW, LITTLE COUSIN.**

“Oh.”

Kurloz looked at Gamzee’s disappointed face and wished to push him further. 

**DID YOU ENJOY THE ORGASM I GIFTED YOU YESTERDAY?**

Gamzee guessed that he did. It was unexpected and he hadn’t asked for it but Kurloz did gift it to him.

“Yeah, I motherfucking did. Felt good.”

He did not feel he could look Kurloz in the eye when he answered. 

**OH? DID IT NOT MAKE YOU FORGET YOUR UNWORTHY EX-LOVER WHO COULD NOT SATISFY YOU?**

Now Gamzee was thinking of Tavros and his stomach twisted in a knot. So soon after his relationship with Tavros ended, he fucked someone else. First he cheated on that poor boy with Terezi and now this. He was such a piece of shit. 

“It did a bit.”

**DO NOT BE ASHAMED, LITTLE COUSIN. OUR MAKARA SEX DRIVE CANNOT BE CONTAINED. I HAVE UNLEASHED IT.**

“Thanks, um, cuz.”

Kurloz pulled Gamzee’s head towards him before letting go.

**HOW WILL YOU THANK ME?**

Gamzee tilted his head. “Um, do I owe this motherfucker money?”

**THANK ME WITH YOUR MOUTH.**

Kurloz gestured with his tongue and his cheek and Gamzee got his meaning. Then, Kurloz put down his electrolarynx to open his pants. The sex yesterday was not a one-time deal. Gamzee had once given Tavros a “blowjob”, if you could call sucking a limp penis for a minute that. It had still been a top experience for Gamzee, having an intimate part of Tavros inside him. Now Gamzee was going to have something that could pump blood in his mouth. Already, Kurloz’s cock was hardening and Gamzee had done nothing to it. 

After he had fished out his cock, Kurloz picked back up his electrolarynx. As wonderful as it was watching Gamzee stare at his cock, he did want some sweet fellatio.

**I AM WAITING.**

Gamzee picked up Kurloz’s cock. He pumped it, taking note of the piercings now that he could see them close up, watching them move with the foreskin. However, he knew Kurloz did not just want a hand job. He stuck his tongue out and licked the precum dewing on the piercings. Tasted salty, more salty than Terezi’s pussy when he briefly and drunkenly ate her out. This was the taste of a man. Kurloz’s cock was warm and wet whereas Tavros had been cold and dry. The more Gamzee licked, the more liquid seeped out. 

**PUT IT IN YOUR MOUTH.**

Gamzee looked up at Kurloz. Kurloz’s poker face was broken by him biting his vampire piercings. Gamzee was keeping Kurloz on edge. He took Kurloz’s advice (or command) and put the giant head in his mouth. He had to open up very wide to do it and he wondered how he managed to get it in his tight asshole yesterday. He moved his head down but when he opened his eyes he saw he only had taken half. He used his hand for the rest. Looking up at Kurloz’s face again, it seemed to Gamzee he was doing a good job. 

Kurloz was getting his new devotee to orally worship him and while Kurloz had certainly had better blow jobs, the fact that this was Gamzee was a plus. Kurloz had thought he would have to swallow his disgust but instead he found it delicious to see a face like his straining over his erection. It just went to show that Kurloz was naturally enlightened. Kurloz knew of other Church devotees who still turned up their nose at incest. Fools, all, and not the good kind. 

Gamzee felt it was not easy blowing Kurloz and his jaw already hurt. However, his own dick was hardening rapidly. He wanted to touch his painful erection, but he was too busy with Kurloz’s erection. Instead, he was forced to hump Kurloz’s leg, likely getting precum on his purple jeans.

Kurloz noticed Gamzee’s arousal. Not only was Gamzee blushing, he was humping Kurloz as if Kurloz would not notice. Kurloz knew he would have to change jeans, but he did not mind. He was proud he did not have to tell Gamzee to keep his hands off himself. The boy already knew what he was supposed to do.

**YOU ARE GOOD. VERY VERY GOOD. YOU ARE SON, MY BLOOD, MY DESCENDANT. PERFECT.**

Gamzee was a little confused by the descendant part, given they were horizontally and not vertically related, but his mouth was too full to ask questions and his crotch throbbed too much to think.

Eventually, Kurloz was just making strange hissing noises into his electrolarynx. He was having problems thinking himself. Soon he would give Gamzee his incestuous slurry.

Kurloz’s cock twitched in Gamzee’s tired mouth and Gamzee wondered if Kurloz would stop hissing to tell him if he was going to come when that thick salty liquid filled Gamzee’s throat. Starled, Gamzee pulled back, leaving a string of saliva as more cum oozed out over the silver Jacob’s ladder. Gamzee vaguely realized this was not proper fellatio procedure but he was mostly thinking about how he now had the seed of his blood relative in his mouth.

**SWALLOW.**

Gamzee obeyed. Now the seed was inside his stomach. It felt like it was burning a hole in him. Kurloz petted Gamzee with one hand.

**MOTHERFUCKING PERFECT.**

He then gestured at Gamzee to stand up. Gamzee hesitated. Though Kurloz had seen his erection yesterday and must know currently he had one, he still felt bashful. Yet after a few seconds, he obeyed again. His erection swung out from his bathrobe.

Kurloz smiled as he looked at Gamzee’s erection. He put down the electrolarynx to sign.

_ Do not be ashamed.  _

He then swallowed Gamzee whole. Already close, Gamzee instinctively grabbed Kurloz’s head and fucked it just three times before he came. After that, he let Kurloz pull away. 

If it had been a different time, Kurloz would have punished Gamzee for going rough. Yet right now he just felt satisfied have Gamzee’s genetic material in his stomach. They had officially swapped fluids. 

Gamzee looked down at Kurloz’s drooling face bashfully.

“Sooorrry, cuz.”

_ Again, do not be ashamed. You have provide me with much. _

“Um, odd way to put it, but thanks?”

_ Are you hungry? _

“You didn’t come that damn much, so yeah, I could get my eat on with actual food substance.” __

_ Let’s get pizza tonight. _

Gamzee threw his head back. “Sure.”

Gamzee scurried off to his room. Meanwhile, Kurloz ordered online from Gamzee’s favorite pizza place. He even ordered Hawaiian pizza. If Kurloz could, he would have put liquorice along with the pineapple and Canadian bacon just to show his appreciation for his new recruit. He did wonder if they really could be the same person if they disagreed on fruit on pizza but maybe that would be explained in a later vision.

Gamzee was in his room, getting dressed. He put on simple jeans and a t-shirt with a purple Capricorn sign. He wasn’t as big on astrology as some motherfuckers but he had always found it neat that him and Kurloz shared a Zodiac sign. Gamzee was born on the 28th and Kurloz on the 31st. It had seemed a neat coincidence they almost had the same birthday but six years apart. Now that Kurloz was saying weird shit about them being the same motherfucker, maybe it wasn’t just coincidence. Kurloz was more of a Capricorn than Gamzee by far. The only Capricorn thing about Gamzee was he loved goats and sea and probably would like a seagoat if he ever met one. 

Gamzee came back to the living room thinking about what a seagoat would look like. It was easier than thinking about the fact he had sex with his fellow Capricorn twice. He sat down on the couch next to that fellow Capricorn, though not close to him.

**I ORDERED THE PIZZA YOU LOVE ABOVE OTHERS.**

“Thanks, cuz…” Gamzee paused, “Wait a motherfucking minute, do I still call you cuz after…after the…”

**WE ARE STILL COUSINS. DO NOT BE ASHAMED THAT WE ALSO BE LOVERS.**

“Lovers…you my boyfriend now?”

Kurloz nodded.

Gamzee thought back to when Tavros first said out loud they were boyfriends. It was a big thing for both of them. Tavros came from a Catholic background and Gamzee from a Pentecostal one and both religions said they weren’t supposed to be boyfriends and they decided to fuck that holy bullshit. Gamzee became a Unitarian for Tavros. And now Tavros was gone and Gamzee was on his way towards a new religion for his new boyfriend. Boyfriend and cousin. Would that ever stop being weird? 

“You all gonna introduce me up as your boyfriend everywhere?” Gamzee asked.

Kurloz flinched slightly before answering.

**ONLY TO CERTAIN MOTHERFUCKERS.**

“Not Meulin?”

**NOT MEULIN, NOT…**

He made a hissing noise into the electrolarynx, a sign of uncertainty.

**NOT YET. I WILL FIND A WAY TO BREAK IT TO HER.**

“How you gonna motherfucking do that? She’ll claw my face open then bite your tongue off.”

**WE GOT OURSELVES A MOTHERFUCKING OPEN RELATIONSHIP.**

“How open out is it? Enough for me?” 

Kurloz nodded. He did hope one day Meulin would be enlightened enough to realize he was doing the right thing for everyone. He certainly did not mind keeping secrets, but this secret would be inconvenient to keep.

“Do Meulin know all ‘bout this church shit?”

**SHE IS A FULL MEMBER SINCE AUGUST 15TH.**

“Woooow…”

**AND IN A YEAR, YOU TOO SHALL BE A FULL MEMBER.**

He beckoned Gamzee to come closer. When Gamzee did, Kurloz put his arm around him. The cousins had your typical manly touch with punches most of the time but now they were being gay. Even though middle school was far away, Gamzee was hearing  _ gaaaaaay _ in his head.

They stayed like that until the doorbell rang. Kurloz got the pizza and did not tip. The Makaras ate pizza and talked about attending Church.

“So,” Gamzee asked, “that where you be taking the truck every other Sunday?”

Kurloz nodded.

“Now we can both take the truck to clown church and I ain’t having to Uber or carpool to my Unitarian Universalist church. That be all simplified up.” 

**IT INDEED BE THE WAY THE WORLD WAS MEANT TO WORK.**

“Do services be this Sunday?”

**YES, WE SHALL GO THERE.**

“Where do the church building be?”

**DETROIT.**

“Where ‘bout Detroit?”

**JUST DETROIT.**

“How do I get my dress on?”

**DRESS ANY WAY YOU LIKE, BUT WEAR JUGGALO CONCERT MAKEUP.**

“I ain’t seeing you ever go to these meetings in that.”

Kurloz winked.  **I MUST KEEP MY SECRETS.**

“What be happenin’ at these services?”

**THAT BE A SECRET WE ALL MUST BE KEEPING.**

After washing their pizza down with Pepsi, they played video games like normal. Gamzee smoked a little pot and Kurloz enjoyed the buzz. Eventually, it was time to go to bed.

Gamzee yawned. “I need to get my sleep on yet again.”

**YOU CAN SLEEP IN MY BED.**

“I can?” Gamzee asked. He hadn’t been even thinking about sleeping in Kurloz’s bed.

**YOU ARE MY BOYFRIEND.**

“What ‘bout Meulin?”

**SHE IS NOT HERE TONIGHT AND WON’T BE HERE TOMORROW.**

“We be havin’ a fuck?”

**ONLY IF YOU WANT TO.**

Gamzee wasn’t up for sex again, but he did like cuddling Kurloz. “Nah, let’s just sleep.”

They went upstairs to Kurloz’s bedroom. Gamzee’s bedroom was on the ground floor for Tavros’ wheelchair but Tavros wasn’t a thing anymore. The house was awfully large for two people. Kurloz’s bedroom was meticulously clean. 

Though they did not plan on having sex, they got completely undressed anyway. Gamzee kept looking at Kurloz’s body, telling himself he wasn’t supposed to look, and then remembering he could look all he wanted. Kurloz was looking at him in a way that seemed almost judging. 

Kurloz felt Gamzee really needed to do some muscle-building. It was not right for him to be that skinny. He had put off that improvement too long. 

Kurloz and Gamzee laid down in the bed naked. Kurloz reached over and turned off the lamp on the nightstand and the room was plunged into darkness. Then, Kurloz wrapped his arms around Gamzee. Gamzee moved in closer to Kurloz. 

This was like how he napped with Tavros, Gamzee thought. Or how he always wanted to nap with Karkat. Did Kurloz know he was thinking of other motherfuckers? Would he be able to just think of Kurloz? 

Kurloz held Gamzee in his arms. Gamzee’s thought would now be on Kurloz and no one else. Kurloz knew he had successfully seduced his adoptive son.

**Author's Note:**

> Alternian text: WE ARE NOT HUMAN. 
> 
> Also, yes, I did retcon body jewelry onto Kurloz. Deal with it.


End file.
